How many times do you think about giving without expectation?
And I’m not talking about a thing here, like a physical object.
I mean to give something like your friendship, your heart, an ear to listen?
How many times do you do this without expecting something back?
I want to say this, I think MOST people do this. Expect something back that is—even if it’s a certain reaction. Those of us who are a glutton for punishment ( I KID, I KID!) do this whole give without thinking sometimes to our detriment… in other words we give and give and give.
BUT in my little time alone recently (alright so I was sick and flu like and no one technically COULD be around me. but whatever) I spent that time rehashing some things. Some people. Some relationships.
One you know about, I released a post right at the new year, ‘An Open Letter’ about loving this person beyond measure. Wishing I had, had the nerve to tell them this but that we had evolved (Okay so he met someone else, again, whatever) but now we were trying to be friends (trying MIGHT be the operative word here—but hey at least we’re trying!) and I did a soul release with that letter (yes, I know that sounds hippie dippy!) But I decided I was going to let that carry on into the rest of my life. I was going to go into this year without doing that to another person—without expecting someone to give me something back or behave in a certain way because I’d reached out. That’s a heavy load to bear, to put your expectation onto someone else about what you want back out of what you’ve given them.
But it came into discussion today, a buddy of mine was calling and hashing out some girl problems (SEE ladies WE’RE NOT the only ones who do this!) and he was saying, ‘Yeah but when I text or call and she doesn’t respond I’m just so let down I’m not going to keep doing X, Y and Z if she doesn’t do this_____’ and I said to him, ‘Wait you’re going about this all wrong. You should never do that to another. I mean yes, you should expect a mutual respect. But you should just do/be/give without expectation. AND you should definitely not expect something in return. So I even gave an example of the said mentioned guy in the first paragraph, I said, ‘Okay so if I text him or call him I’m doing it because that’s what I WANT to do. Not because I’m expecting him to react in a certain way. I don’t do that to him. If you want to truly give you give without thought. So you’re kind to someone else because that’s who YOU ARE. Now I’m not saying get walked all over and I’m not saying you have to do this forever. But someone else’s reaction or what you get out of it should not be where you find the source of your happiness.’
But my friend isn’t the only one who does this, and I’m not saying I’m perfect—far from it. But I am really (REALLY) working on this, ‘giving without expectation this year.’ Just trying to be happy. Trying to remind myself how to be a better friend, a better person by giving without expectation. Doing without expecting something in return. It’s kind of like a pay it forward for your relationships because I’m quite sure there are those around me who have done this for me and I am completely unaware. Completely.
So as I was finishing talking to my friend and hanging up I get a text back from him, almost immediately saying, ‘That concept of giving without expecting something—that’s a good quality to have you know.’ and it made me smile. Because it takes so little to shift your way of thought but you get SO MUCH out of it. When you let go how others behavior affects you and just let you be you…. a weight is lifted. So this whole “concept” as my friend says I think I’ll keep trying to make it a top priority…because a little giving without expectation is all any of us really need.
A pay it forward for your spirit indeed.